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MAJOR CHANGES COMING TO BETTER RECEPTION

STAY TUNED

Here comes y’all’s newwww faaavoriiite!!

HEEEEEEEEEY everybodyyyy!! lol

I am so excited to be writin’ on this blog, y’all have no idea.  Kema and I decided that Lindsay shouldn’t be able to post anymore since she’s not… y’know… one of us anymore, that is she’s not a receptionist, per se, so I’M TAKIN’ HER SPOT!!  How fun!!

A little about myself: I am a bodacious blonde from Tennessee who loves chocolate and two TV shows: As The World Turns and Angel!!  That boy is just a dreamcake, I  don’t need to tell ya.  Mr. Brian sometimes lets me watch them at work on a itty bitty TV I got myself, and I just watch it on mute.  Actually he prolly doesn’t much care either way seeing as how he’s not here and all, but you never know!  Could be one of those hidden camera shows!! Boy, don’t I wish. lol

Anyways, my dream is to have one of those little dogs you can put pigtails and lil dresses on.  They are just precious if you ask me, and I WANT me one!  This will be my way of interacting with the blog community, I will ask y’all (my readers) (ahhh!! I have readers!! Can you believe it?? So exciting!!) what I should name my new pigtail dog when I get it.

 

Isn't that cute? Imagine her with a lil ribbon on her head. (The dog, not that skinny girl. Who cares about her.)

So, what do y’all think I should name my pigtail dog when I get it?? Comment or email me and show how much y’all love my post. This is my first one! !

When I get my pigtail dog I will put it in my purse to take around town with me and I can dress it up like a little ol’ doll and also I think they kill mice and rodents which just scare me to death, don’t even get me started. 

What should I name it??  What about Sugar?? Or Teeny?? Willemina?? I could call her Willie for short.  But maybe spell it Willee or somethin’ more fun and creative.

This article is really good.

“What Makes Us Happy?”

And ye shall be romanticized with yellow roses and bluebonnets.

Today marks my last day at this job and exactly one week from my departure from the DMV area.   While I’ll miss certain aspects of this place, I’m very excited to be moving on, moving out, moving up, moving away.  I’ve certainly learned a lot that I plan to take with me in other jobs and in life. Specifically, how to:

- lie (sort of convincingly…)  with or without props

- decorate a gym like Brazil

- anchor a top-rope climbing setup outdoors

- teach basic computer skills and Spanish to coworkers middle-aged or older

- identify, ignore, and flee rapists

- find *something* to compliment

- make a kiers ( i dont know how to spell this– it’s a delicious drink that rebecca showed me and then a stranger-friend at a wedding made for me again)

- harshly judge the performance of others with little-to-no idea of their actual workload

- accept harsh judgement from others with little-to-no idea of my actual workload

- all but physically force a university department to communicate with me

- remove, sort, and display postal stamps

I’m sure the list goes on, but the variety and quality is clearly represented here.  All important and useful lessons.  DMV, thank you for gifting this wisdom to me in an assortment of different packagings; I’ll be sure to use them all as I continue on and put my best face forward.  The bright new future awaits!

From Erin Hanson's 'Reminders' series

 

Texas here I come.  The rest, who knows.

Disguising

ever since i heard this news story on the radio the other day (i am so busted for listening to NPR), i cannot quit thinking about it.

CLICK◘HEREforNEWS◘STORY

i’ve always been fascinated by stories of genius-level impersonators, from the fantastic Frank Abagnale Jr. to the heartbreaking Frédéric Bourdin, because of the drama and adventure and rebellion they lived and i haven’t, but also because their successes confirm my sneaking suspicion that most people bluff their way through their jobs.  That this guy from California was able to dazzle the Dallas PD with his sharp, sun-streaked wit for weeks is exactly what i expect from beady-eyed Texas cops (i’ll limit my scathing remarks to police in my jurisdiction).  i am witness every day to the kind of un-backed bravado which is the bulk of these cops’ credibility, and when i imagine all the “straight-talkin” and “chaw-chewin” Officer California had to master to pull off such a crime, i think that Dallas PD probably wasn’t even worthy of his skillz.   whatever.  damn the man. save the empire. and remember: you’re always only a fake police badge and a handgun away from being on the other side of those handcuffs.

and now for another disguise, which makes about as much sense as our legal system:

 

Four cheers for Thursday

    Hip                     Hip                         Hip                       Hooraaaay!

 

 

One more day here.

Fun activities for the office

Saw this online and thought of me. Hope I enjoy.

One of the many treasures I’ve dug up since utilizing Google Reader to constantly stare at the world.

Feel free to submit any office art you may have created as a result of either a very boring or very stimulating job.  This assignment of “Cover an entire sheet of paper with office supplies” is one idea, but of course there are lots of options.

Reception Spotlight: My other job is a Lamborghini

One thing people may not realize is that most of the time when I’m looking for secretary-related things online I come up with some reference to the film Secretary (tagline: Assume the Position).  I hesitated to mention it here because I really don’t condone the sexy secretary image, having experienced the consequences of it myself in various — including non-secretarial– jobs and having seen the counter-effects in examples provided by male friends in traditionally-female positions.  BUT read on to see why I included it here…

Apparently this story is based on the short story “Bad Behavior” by Mary Gaitskill.  It sounds like a horrific film to me, and I have not in fact seen it.  I don’t plan to, either, but I may check out the author.*   I resent the fact that this movie, in which the secretary and her lawyer boss engage in a sado-masochistic relationship, is supposed to be making a statement about the relationships between men and women on different levels in the workplace– supplemented here by the types of attire women wear… high heels, anyone?**– but the chosen review for the poster is “Very sexy.”  Clearly the social implications here are not what’s selling tickets.

So, given my disdain for sexy secretaries and the like (aside from Charlie’s sexy librarian costume for Rebecca’s and my April Fool’s Day-Half-Halloween Party… hilarious**), I’m a fan of the idea of this movie but not the way in which it has to be marketed– re-inscribing the ideas that it seeks to question.  {{An interesting thing to think about later would be whether in this or other cases marketing changes the truth of what they say about how the submissive is the one who’s really in control (this I learned from an episode of CSI:Miami), but as per usual I will save my more interesting thoughts for when I’m not constantly interrupted by phones or other tasks, i.e. when I’m trying to fall asleep.}}

At the same time I do LOOOVE Maggie Gyllenhaal, not just because she is so so cute but also because of the movies of hers that I have seen she seems to pick interesting roles/films and also she has a cute–just one cute here– brother and they are cute cute cute together (two plus one is three cutes… I feel like The Count).  This totally reflects the way both Kema and I feel about this whole ‘secretary’ thing, where we may not be huge fans of our professions but we have other projects that make us interesting, keep us sane, and provide some kind of reassurance that this is not our way of ‘being all that we can be’  (not that our other projects include the armed forces).  Just like Maggie Gyllenhaal, who is vindicated by her other performances and really should be glad this movie wasn’t her first, Kema and I have redeeming parts of our lives. No really, we do.  And no I don’t just mean the blog, jerk.

Perfect example? Stranger than Fiction, which I really liked.  Fun to watch and also her character is someone who was bound for everyday drudgery until she chose something she loved. Granted that something is an unrealistically well-off baker¤, but to add to that passion she also pays a precisely-calculated portion of her taxes in concordance with what percentage of the government’s policies she agrees with (to the delight of a hobo patron) and manages to set free the inner rocker of an IRS agent.  She may not be a secretary in this movie, but her character is someone I’d be friends with.  Everyone’s got some part of their lives that they like less than others, whether that be one particular thing you did in the past, one part of your taxes you’d rather not pay, or some aspect of your work that is– for now– less than your dream job.

*Kema, you might be interested in her book Two Girls, Fat and Thin, which according to Wikipedia is a satire of Ayn Rand.  I have not read this either, but someone who writes on wikipedia has at least read a summary of it somewhere else.

** Drag is fascinating to me.

¤ A discussion with thesocialutilitarian‘s baker friend assured me that her character’s wardrobe is also extremely unlikely for a baker– no tank tops and scarves in the kitchen.  Where’s the hairnet, Maggie Gyllenhaal? Didn’t you research this character at all? She’s a phony!

A Whodunnit for the ages

 

This weekend I did laundry for what may have been the first time in over a month.*  So when I was folding this laundry, I noticed that a lot of my shirts have holes in the elbows?  Annoying, because I need those things and holes take the whole nobody-out-casuals-Lindsay plan a little too far.  But why the elbows? Why now?

 

One friend suggested it was from grovelling too much. I suggested I was praying too much, then switched the blame to my new online elbow tap dancing lessons.**  All of these hypotheses were somewhat suspect, but really we had no other ideas.  Maybe clothes just aren’t what they used to be? Maybe I should stop sharpening my elbows at night? Who knows…

Well I FOUND THE CULPRIT, AND I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. It’s this effing job.  Just now when I picked up the phone, I was leaning over on one elbow, had to pick up another line, and slid on my elbow across the desk to hit the button. The only question now is how to phrase this on my expense report as a work-related cost.  If they aren’t going to buy me new clothes, they should either buy me some patches (I’ve got my eye on one at Joann’s that says “I’m #1″, which is hilarious for one elbow to have and not the other) oooor elbow pads to wear at the desk.  I’d be fine with either one because I am a cooperative employee.

In the meantime, I finished those tests (and I think I probably passed) so I now have a bit more free time than… like… ever, since August.  I will be dedicating a part of this time to self-publishing my second zine, “What Not To Wish”, inspired by Billy Bob’s comment to Kemawema’s last post.  If you would like a copy of this zine, let Kathy know (kathyfantastic@gmail.com) and be sure to include your address.  If you have other suggestions, aside from where I can shove my zine, let us know as well!

* So you don’t have to ask: I wear undershirts I can rinse in the sink, I wear the same clothes over and over, and underwear is optional. I also wear inappropriate clothing (unseasonable, too fancy/not fancy enough, mismatched, you name it). 

** Sadly, I do neither of these. Elbow tap dancing course is now in development stages.